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he didn’t call me ‘hot’ all the time, only when things we’re getting steamy i guess, he didn’t just call me ‘cute’ or ‘beautiful’ all the time. he called me ‘lovely’, or ‘darling’, ‘babe’. things i loved. he knew what i loved. and i pushed him out of my life. now hes moved on to a bitch who’s skinnier and prettier than me.. after he told me how she was ugly, someone that skinny looked gross, and she had an annoying voice. what. the. actual. fuck. sometimes it doesn’t bother me at all, but late at night, all i want to do is cry, but i can’t. which just hurts me more inside. it’s not a pain i’m making up. it actually fucking hurts, to see him like pictures, & reblog pictures of these super super skinny girls, after telling me how it was perfect that my legs we’re chubby, and that i had a muffin top, because girls like that looked gross, and nasty. i should have known i was being lied to. he gave me self confidence. made me proud to be me, and wear whatever the fuck i wanted, but thats all been shot to hell. i can’t even wear fucking shorts anymore without hating what i see in the mirror. when i run, my legs to rub together. i know people say that ‘everyone is beautiful’ & ‘everyone should be proud of there body’ WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT. those people are more than likely fucking toothpicks who would break if they did a backbend, whos legs don’t touch eachother at all, & you can see there ribs and spine when they breathe. nobody fucking judges you for weighing over 100 pounds. i just want to be skinny. maybe you’d love me again? i’d actually give anything for you to want me again. i just want you to look at me & think ‘damn, i really love her.’ or ‘damn, shes mine.’ or just ‘damn, shes got a nice body’ anything that would make you proud to have me. i need to go change my tampon. hate my fucking life. idec. actually, i do care. alot. im going to be posting alot of shit that don’t matter to people. i don’t have alot of friends, and i don’t trust people. ive kinda lost everybody i really care about, so i have to express all of my feelings on here. and im warning you, i have to many. 
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